‘A nation of dead set bloody legends’

Written By komlim puldel on Minggu, 25 Januari 2015 | 23.08

Merrick Watts. Source: Supplied Source: Supplied

TODAY is the day where we are reminded why we're the greatest country on Earth.

As many of us enjoy a barbie with friends and family we will exemplify the very qualities that make us a nation of dead set bloody legends, and it's our core beliefs that make us so great.

We believe in sacrifice, like when we "sacrifice" the first snag on the hotplate instead of cleaning the BBQ by hygienic methods. Like when we "sacrifice" a can of beer on the hotplate to marinate the sliced onions. Or perhaps when your wife's spinster dragon of a sister needs a date for a wedding you "sacrifice" your best mate. We understand sacrifice.

We are a land of opportunity. Where else could Ken Done be considered an artist? Where else could Warwick Capper release an album? Where else could someone who repeated Year 11 and is sailing perilously close to illiteracy be asked to write a column for a national publisher on what makes a country great?

Just another Ken Done Masterpiece.....The iconic artist paints Sydney Charity worker Jackie Ruddock for Melbourne charity The Social Studio. Source: News Limited

We are a nation of sporting demigods. We don't even need to try to be good, it just comes to us! We can take an overweight, chain-smoking, baked bean addict and turn him into the best bowler in the world. We then go one step further and pull him a date with a Hollywood movie star, all while maintaining the same 90s haircut through three decades.

Australian demigod: Shane Warne. Source: Splash News Australia

We are a land of equality. Even our rich and powerful have an occasional punch up in their tracky dacks just like the rest of us.

We enjoy our freedom of speech. From Captain Arthur Phillip to Edmund Barton from Malcolm Fraser to Tony Abbott, there's always been a free voice to yell "Hey mate, you're a bloody tool!" Our total lack of respect for authority is as intrinsic as our ability to "pull a sickie" when we're hung-over.

We defend our right to bare arms. Ever taken a Virgin flight to the Gold Coast? It's all singlets and tank tops! Although I personally think sleeves are appropriate for air travel, I will defend to the death your right to wear Rip Curl.

Australia is one of the worlds great democracies. When someone says "I reckon we should pack up the tools and hit the pub" and everyone else agrees, that's democracy in action! Or when your wife says " We're going to the parent teacher meeting" and you say "I think I've got a case of gastro" ... OK, that's probably not democracy but it's still pretty Aussie.

I'm at risk of hyperbole so let's not over state our achievements, it's not like we invented sliced bread. We did one better and invented sliced beetroot! Then what did we do? Put it in hamburgers! Who saw that coming? Not bloody Europe I tell you that much! While we're at it, we invented chicken salt and if we didn't we sure act like we did! Chicken salt took the ordinary chip and turned it into a super star in the same way Damir Dokic did for Jelena Dokic but with more success.

A burger without beetroot would be like hot chips without chicken salt....Un-Australian! Source: News Limited

Look we're not without fault though, admittedly we still have a bit to work on. The other day a bloke was arrested for driving an unlicensed mechanical esky that he'd built himself. So we're still making mistakes — clearly the officer was unaware of how awesome a motorised esky is — but we're a young nation and we're all still learning.

Enjoy this Australia Day but remember, we're lucky enough to have 365 of them a year!

Merrick Watts returns to Triple M Drive on the 2nd of February 2015.


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